Blessed

Today I had a lazy afternoon. I decided to finally watch the documentary "Little Man." A friend of mine mentioned what a heartbreaking story it was about a preemie. I started watching it and I was overcome with emotion. It is hard to believe that was my life almost 4 years ago. We didn't have to deal with half of what this family did, but I still remember the day in July when I became a member of "The Club." funny it is an unspoken club, one that many don't know anything about until they enter it. I was soon thrust into this NICU twilight zone. Nothing was familiar. The language, the beeps, the lighting, and the people were all so foreign to me. I remember before I even got to see my babies the doctors giving us "The Talk." It was full of percentages of survival, of all the health problems they would face, hurdles they would have to overcome. I was scared to death. I was afraid to see them. In my mind I could not even imagine what a 30 week old baby would look like. I was worried I was not strong enough to handle this challenge. I was mad and upset and then I saw them and I was in love.
To me they were tiny and beautiful. Probably only beautiful in a mother's eye. I know to some they were frightening to see and heartbreaking. They would never say it, but you know and understand. We found out fast we didn't have time to be scared or frightened - we were plunged into this situation and had to be strong for them.
We spent seven weeks learning the ins and outs of the NICU. We learned what the beeps were for, the numbers, the acronyms, that nurses are your life line and sanity. You learn you can sleep just about anywhere and you learn STRENGTH.
We will forever be a part of "The Club." we look forward to our NICU reunion every year to see our amazing doctors, nurses, and to see all the other NICU graduates. I can not wait for Caden and Emmeline to be a little older and we can explain to them all the hurdles they crossed when they were born.
Today I remember how incredibly blessed I am to have 3 amazing babies. While the journey to have them home with me is not the one I would have chosen, I realize God must have known that I was strong enough to handle it.